In the summer of 2018, I went to NYC to go to The Bronx, where my mom grew up, and put some things to rest. She spent a lot of years trying to turn me into something I wasn’t and I wanted to let her know how that turned out. She’d been dead 35 years but I wanted to finally close the book on her in the place it all started.

There was a moment during that trip when I found myself in the food court of a grocery store with a handful of people I’d met through the friend I was staying with.

I was just about to start eating when Doris, a woman I’d known three days, started yelling at Sharice, a woman I’d known two days. Doris was berating Sharice for not going to enough Overeaters Anonymous meetings. Sharice was a single mom with a couple kids and a full-time job. She could only make it to one meeting a week. But that wasn’t enough for Doris.

I listened to her lay into Sharice for about a minute and half until I couldn’t take it anymore. I know what it’s like to have to go to a 12-step meeting. I know what it’s like to be a single parent who doesn’t have the time or energy to take care of himself. Most of all, I know what it’s like to be humiliated in public and too scared to fight back because that might make it worse.

I shot out of my chair and stepped up to Doris. I said everything I wish I’d said to every bully, jock, and meathead who knocked me down or made me the butt of a joke. I laid into her until she turned away and mumbled an apology.

Then I went back to my clam chowder and forgot about it. Almost. Every now and then, over the years, I’d remember that time and wonder who it was that made such a scene in public because he couldn’t watch someone being humiliated.

A couple years ago, the friend I was staying with that week said her friends still talked about “that time in Whole Foods when that guy stood up to Doris.” Hearing that was one of the proudest moments of my life. 

One of the reasons I went back to New York was to show my mom that I finally had the courage to stand up to her. She was an actress and hated that I was an introvert. She was always trying to push me onstage and make me perform. “You’re going to die with your secret!” she would yell. She hated that all I wanted to do was read books and write stories. She couldn’t stand that I wasn’t a loud, brash New Yorker like her. 

I wish she could have been there that day in the grocery store. I wish she could have seen me just for a moment turn into her, the person I never wanted to be. I wish she could have seen me at my best.

I hope some of you bring your own story about discovering who you are to our show next month. I would love to hear it. We would all love to hear it. 

Of course, our themes are just suggestions, so you can tell a story about almost anything as long as it follows our usual rules and guidelines.

Storytelling Rules and Guidelines

The easiest way to come up with a story is to start with a moment that meant something to you. Once you have that, write down all the memories that have something to do with that moment, both before and after it. Then choose 2-3 of those memories to be the story.

Remember that a story isn’t just a series of things that happened. There needs to be something at stake that you overcome by the end.

Practice the story out loud to as many people as possible and time yourself when you’re doing it. Please don’t get onstage if you haven’t practiced your story. The audience is giving you their time and attention. It’s not fair to them if you get up there and try to wing it.

All stories have to be under eight minutes. Stories can be as short as you want, but no longer than eight minutes. Stories also have to be clean in both language and content. Send me an email if you have any questions about that.

Our free monthly online workshop is a great place to get feedback on your story.

https://www.meetup.com/Fresh-Ground-Stories-Storytelling-Workshop

I’m also happy to help anyone with a story they’re working on. Email me, and we can set up a phone call.

See you Thursday, August 20 at 7 pm, on the top floor of the Seattle Swedish Club, 1920 Dexter Ave N, Seattle, WA 98109

Paul

Freshgroundstories@gmail.com

What a sweet evening we had last Thursday. Some shows are big, raucous carnivals, and some are filled with quieter moments where we’re all leaning forward, nodding along with each story. I never have any idea which one we’re going to get, but whatever happens always seems to be just what we need.

Usually, I spend these thank you letters talking about how each story affected me and what they brought up on the way home. This month, I’m just going to talk about one story from the show that sent me off on a tangent for the last few days.

Our only first-time teller that night was Mary, who told a wonderful story about ordering a live chameleon from the back of her brother’s Boy Scout magazine. I don’t think I was 30 seconds into Mary’s story when she sent me right back to elementary school and all the stuff I tried to get my mom to order me from the back of various comic books. Plastic Revolutionary War soldiers, plastic WWII soldiers, X-ray glasses, all kinds of magic tricks, and, of course, Sea Monkeys.

No matter where you lived in those days, if you wanted a toy, you were stuck with whatever the local toy store carried. You might occasionally get something out of the Sears-Roebuck catalog, but for the most part, you got whatever Woolworth’s, K-Mart, or the neighborhood drug store had on the shelves.

If you wanted something different, you had to flip to the back of a comic book and order cheap little things the regular stores wouldn’t carry. And then you had to do something we never do anymore. You had to wait.

Yes, before the internet we waited for stuff. Three to four weeks was common, but sometimes we had to wait months for something to come in the mail. Months! Can you imagine waiting that long for a pair of slippers to show up from Amazon? There would be riots.

That is the place Mary took me in her story, and I absolutely loved it. I loved that I was listening to someone who did the same stuff I did as a kid. And I loved that she told her story so well that it only took her a few seconds to send me back 50 years.

The day after the show, I was telling my girlfriend about the story and reminiscing about having to wait for stuff. Was having to wait better for us as a culture? I have no idea. I love getting stuff the next day with a guarantee I can return it for any reason. But I also know that getting stuff the day after I order it has made me more impatient in general. My expectation span™ for everything has shrunk to 24 hours. 

Would I be a little less anxious if I had to wait two weeks for a letter instead of an hour for an email? What if I had to wait a week for the next episode of a show instead of watching the entire series over a weekend? Would I have a better perspective on the world in general if I didn’t feel entitled to getting whatever I wanted almost immediately?

This is what storytelling does. We’re entertained in the moment, feel connected to the person while they’re sharing, and afterward we get to think about their story more deeply. We can examine the things that led the teller through that time in her life. We can relate to the subject matter from our own perspective and wonder if we would have acted the same way. If we’re lucky, the story leads us to reflect on ourselves or the world in a more personal way than an essay or speech ever could. 

Every story I heard at the show that night made me laugh or think or wonder about something in my own life. That’s why I quoted Patti Digh toward the end of the show when I said, the shortest distance between two people is a story. 

One of my goals with FGS is to shrink the distance between us. All of us. Once you learn how to tell a story, you can go out in the world and do that too. A story well told never pushes people away. Not if it’s told honestly and with humility. 

That’s all for now. Thanks to all the tellers that night: Melissa, Mary, Tracey, Debbie, Deborah, Craig, Keith, Sean, Ed, Carmen, Andres, and Auntmama

Special thanks to whoever put the fake names in Mr. Coffee. I loved that! That night we had Groucho Marx and Wendell Wilkie in the carafe. Thank you for the unexpected laugh. You are free to add any goofy names you want in the future.

Next month’s show is on August 20. The theme is “Who do you think you are?” I’ll get the invite out as soon as I can.

Hope to see you in a few weeks.

Paul

freshgroundstories@gmail.com

We’re a week away from our next show, “Temptation!” I can’t wait to hear how you overcame or gave in to temptation. Giving in usually leads to a better story unless you overcame the temptation to push someone off a cliff. That could also be a good story.

Earlier this year, Cliff told a story about surprising himself by moving across the country without a plan. The theme that night was surprises, but his story could easily have fit in with temptation. Last month, I told a story about not wanting to accept money for doing something I loved. I didn’t write it with the theme of temptation in mind, but I could have.

If you’re struggling to come up with a story, think of a time when you made a decision. Almost any decision can be seen as a temptation of some kind.

Do you remember a time when you decided to shoplift something? Temptation!

Do you remember telling someone you had a crush on them? Temptation!

Last week, I gave in to the temptation of looking up my symptoms on the internet. I should not have given in to that temptation. Now I have to call my gastro guy and tell him what Dr. Google said.

Here’s a story I just fell in love with. It’s about a teacher who was tempted to give up mediating an argument between two kids.

Our free online workshop is this Sunday at 1 pm. It’s a friendly, low-stakes place to work on a story with others who are working on their own. You get to help them, and they get to help you. If you’re thinking of a moment but not sure if it could become a story, come to the workshop and throw it out there. Dave and Colleen are sweet hosts and love helping people flesh out ideas.

https://www.meetup.com/fresh-ground-stories-storytelling-workshop/events/315172315/

I’m also available to help by phone. Just write me directly at freshgroundstories@gmail.com, and we can set up a call.

Here are the rules & guidelines for telling at FGS

Storytelling Rules and Guidelines

Write me if you have any questions. Hope to see you next Thursday!

#109SpacesOfFreeGloriousParkingAtTheSwedishClub

Paul

freshgroundstories@gmail.com