February’s theme is “Left Turn – Stories of life going sideways.”

I’m embarrassed to admit how much of my life has been spent thinking, “How did I not know that?” Now that I’ve reached the age where I get tendonitis scrolling down to the year I was born in those drop-down menus, I keep thinking I should have most things in life figured out. Even the surprises shouldn’t be that surprising. That’s what I tell myself. But every year something happens and the rug I thought I’d nailed to the floor slides out from under me.

A few weeks ago I found out something about my parents that knocked me sideways. Because I have no memories of my parents ever being kind to each other, I asked my old babysitter, who knew me as a toddler, if she thought my parents had ever been in love. She wrote back and said that my father had been head over heels for mom in the beginning but the feeling wasn’t mutual. She said she learned the meaning of the term “shotgun wedding” on her way to their wedding.

It seems silly now but this was so shocking and revelatory for me that I don’t think I spoke for the rest of the day. My mother’s frustration with me, my father,  and her life suddenly all made sense. For as long as I can remember, our family had never been a good fit. I thought it was because I had missed the good years but it turned out that there were no good years.

If there’s anything good in this it’s that the sense of unfairness I’ve felt all my life has suddenly disappeared. I spent so many years wondering why I had to grow up in a house filled with anger and spite. My mother always attacking, and my dad always leaving and coming back, trying to find some way to survive in that place. No other parents I knew acted this way toward each other.

Now I finally understand why every day was so difficult for them. They stayed together as long as they could for all the wrong reasons: me, their religion, their culture, shame. All I feel now is overwhelming sadness for both of them. Both of my parents were beloved in their circle of friends. But they were wrong for each other and they were trapped in ways I never understood until now.

What I’m wrestling with is how do I hold two opposite beliefs within me without cracking up? My parents should never have made a kid together, and I’m glad they made a kid together. Was their misery worth the life I have now? It seems ridiculous to even ask this question since there’s nothing I can do about it, yet it’s something I ask myself a hundred times a day.

Thanks for letting me share this with you. I know this isn’t a complete story. It’s just the beginning. But it’s something that rocked my little world recently and I was thinking tonight that maybe there’s someone else out there going through the same thing. If there is, maybe we can talk. Maybe she can tell me how she balanced the scales. Maybe she can show me who to thank for this life I’ve been given.

Hopefully, some of you will bring your own story about life knocking you sideways. Was it a surprise or was it something you chose?  How did you work through it? Did you end up being grateful? Did it change the way you see the world or did it reinforce what you already knew?

Remember to keep your story clean and under 8 minutes. Here are the rules and guidelines for telling at FGS. I update them a few times a year so even if you’ve read them before it’s always good to take a look now and then to see if there are any changes.

https://freshgroundstories.com/2013/01/22/storytelling-rules-and-guidelines/

If you want to workshop your story before the show, this is a great place to do it:

https://www.meetup.com/Fresh-Ground-Stories-Storytelling-Workshop/

I hope to see you all on February 21st, at 7pn at Roy Street Coffee and Tea 🙂

Take care,

Paul
freshgroundstories@gmail.com

Thanks to everyone who came out last Thursday and helped us have such a great night. I was exhausted after getting back from a trip to NYC a few days earlier but hearing those stories and seeing the reaction they got gave me everything I needed that night.

I’m always surprised at what I learn about people I thought I knew at FGS. Chris started off the night with a great story about ambushing her big brother by jumping out of the shadows and latching onto his neck with her teeth like a giant tick. Is this the sweet, kind Chris that I’ve known all these years? Did she really have it in her, at the age of five, to chomp down on her brother’s neck in a fit of righteous fury? Yes. Yes, she did. Who knows, maybe she still does. All I know is that if she ever asks me for the comics section in the newspaper I’m going to give it to her right away.

Ty, one of our first-timers, told a beautiful story of how he managed to turn his life around. There’s a part in his story that I really loved. He said, “I’m not a carrot guy. I’m a stick guy. I respond better to pain.” Naturally, the universe provided and he got the pain he needed to change. Thanks for being so honest, Ty. It’s good to hear a story where the big epiphany wasn’t enough to get someone to turn their life around. Sometimes we need to hear how someone got slammed down a few more times before he decided to walk another path.

Afifi, another first-timer, talked about the journey from her birth country in Lebanon, to the UK and finally to America. I’ve been asking Afifi to come to FGS for a long time and I’m glad she finally made it. Not only does she have a wealth of stories in her but she could also tell them in Persian if we ever ask her to. I love hearing stories from people who learned English as an adult. It reminds me of how much closer we would all be if we learned a language our neighbors speak at home. When I was 17, a Vietnamese family took me in when I didn’t have a place to live. I regret not trying to learn at least a little of that language. Hearing my friend Hai and his mom speak in those beautiful melodies made me want to find a way to use my English in a way that was more musical and rhythmic. There is always a point in every story I tell where I try to make a word or phrase feel like a song. I know the first time I heard anyone speak that way was over dinner at Hai’s house.

I’m already late getting this wrap-up out which means I’m also late getting the new invitation out. So I’ll end this here and thank all the tellers who shared a story: Chris, Ty, Lance, David S, Afifi, Jessica, Sarah, Carl, Brad, David T, and Bill.

Our next show is Thursday, Feb 21. The theme is “Left Turn – Stories of life going sideways.” Look for the invitation in your email in the next day or two.

Take care everyone. See you in a few weeks 🙂

Paul
freshgroundstories@gmail.com

Hi Everyone,

I’m looking forward to seeing you all this Thursday. The theme is Fed Up – Stories from the end of your rope.  https://www.meetup.com/Fresh-Ground-Stories/events/257525934/

Earlier today, KUOW asked me to let everyone know that they’re looking for people to share their experiences of the late, great viaduct. I’ve never been asked to tell a story about a cement structure but I think it’ll be a cool event. I live in Olympia so my only experiences with the viaduct are all the times I accidentally found myself on it.

But since the rest of you live in Seattle, I’m sure at least a few of you have some deeply-rooted and possibly unresolved emotions about The Thing That Is No More. KUOW would love to hear what you’ve been keeping buried all these years 🙂

I cut and pasted the URL and their email to me at the bottom of this message. If you have any questions about the event contact them through their website.

See you Thursday at Roy Street!

Paul

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/a-wake-for-the-seattle-viaduct-tickets-54379962933

In early January, the Seattle viaduct will close for the last time. In February, the wrecking ball will turn this beloved (or hated) structure to dust. Perhaps you drove on it every day to get back and forth from work. Perhaps you ran on it during the Rock n’ Roll Marathon, or used it every time you went to a Mariners game.

Whatever your relationship with the viaduct, KUOW and Cafe Nordo are inviting you to bid farewell to this elevated structure in style. Do you have a story, song, haiku, or poem about the viaduct? Would you like to raise a glass to the impending doom of this highway (and the inevitable traffic apocalypse)? Join us for an open mic-style event where we bid goodbye to the viaduct with music, poetry, limericks, etc.

Doors open at 6:30 PM. Show begins at 7:00 PM

To share your story, sign up here. Speakers are chosen randomly. Signing up is not a guarantee that you will be selected.