Last week I was telling my boss about someone I worked with years ago who I just couldn’t seem to figure out. We did great when we were on our own but when we had to work together it was always a big mess. 

I described it like this, “We’d get together and it was like a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. Great on our own, but terrible together.” We both laughed at that image and kept laughing over who would be the mayonnaise and who would be the relish on our current team.

A little part of me was laughing even harder on the inside because while my boss thought I was a brilliant improviser, the real reason I had the PB&T image in mind was that I had looked at a note with that phrase on it the night before. For the last month, I’ve been gathering all the notebooks and scraps of paper I’ve written notes on for the last 15 years and transcribed each thought onto separate notes so I could catalog the ideas and find them later.

So far, I’m up to 800 notes and counting. The stack of 4×6 cards is almost 7” high. If my ridiculously complex alphanumeric bottom-up relational organizational index system works out I’ll have instant access to every joke, pun, story idea, and inappropriate thought I’ve had since 2010. Crazy to not use a digital system to keep track of all this? Crazy like a carnivora canidae I say. 

Six months ago, after another sleepless night thanks to the siren glow of my smartphone, I ordered a flip phone. Not only was I spending too much time on Reddit/Facebook/Instagram/YouTube/Etsy/eBay/Amazon/Craigslist/OfferUp/TypewriterClubLive/FountainPens4Sale/HowToGetRidOfMoles.com, but even worse was that I wasn’t spending any time writing new stories. Unacceptable!

So I hid the iPhone, got a flip phone, and went back in time to 1995 when you were doing great if you had a pager and a Palm Pilot. And you know what? The first morning I woke up without a smartphone on the nightstand, I rolled over and found 31 notes I’d written on little slips of paper in the middle of the night. Thirty-one new ideas to think on and write about! 

I couldn’t wait to tell everyone. I’d just solved not only my sleep problem but also the world’s attention deficit crisis. Chances were good my face would be on the next quarter. “I am the Jonas Salk of the 21st century! I’ve cured polio of the mind!”

Turns out not everyone was thrilled with my new lifestyle. In fact, no one was thrilled about it. Not a single person. My girlfriend was upset that she couldn’t text cute Boston Terrier Instagram stories to me anymore. Some people were put out by having to email me links instead of texting them. Others were embarrassed to be seen with me text-yelling into my phone (only elves and fairies have small enough fingers to use a flip phone keypad). My girlfriend’s daughter said, “I’d like to send this funny photo to your phone but then I remembered you don’t have one.” Brutal!

But I stuck with it. Maybe because I knew it was helping. Or maybe because I wanted to show everyone that I was right and they were oh so very wrong. 

I kept the iPhone for when I needed to answer emails and look things up, but most days I left the house without it. Slowly, friends stopped telling me to end the joke and get back under the digital yoke of despair. My son got used to me emailing him links instead of texting him. Marni the Girlfriend stopped rolling her eyes when I’d ask her to Google the “average airspeed of an unladen swallow.”*

There were definitely times when I wondered if I could go back to a smartphone and just not fall into the scroll hole. Every few weeks I’d take the iPhone to bed with me to “do some research” and end up spending three hours on Reddit reading the “How can I stop my Boston Terrier from farting in bed” thread. The next day I’d wake up after fours of bad sleep, and go back to Flippy the Monk Phone**.

I was still on the fence about Flippy and The LIfe Analogue until our show last week. If you’ve ever been to the show, you know that in between tellers, I spend a 15-30 seconds or so talking about the story we just heard, and then bring up the next teller. Last week, when I talked about how much each story moved me, I remembered three notes that I’d written years ago and managed to connect each one to a story I’d just heard. If those notes had been on a screen in a cloud somewhere I never would have remembered them. But since they were on index cards that I’d been flipping through that week just for fun, I did remember them. And I got to say something sweet and meaningful about some stories that deserved to be acknowledged that way.

So I’m sticking with Flippy. I’m on the internet eight hours a day at work and streaming movies and whatnot in the evening, but not being able to jump online when I’m bored for two seconds has been good for me. Having to crank up the laptop or pull my creaky old tablet out of my bag to get online is just inconvenient enough to make me think twice. I’ll let you know in a few months if this mindful life of exasperation has led to more stories.

And that’s the kind of story we’re looking for this month. Come tell a story about a time when your life changed directions. Was it a big change like applying to NASA after majoring in poetry at Vassar? Was it a small change like taking the bus to work instead of driving and making a bunch of new friends? Maybe it was just a change in how you see yourself. I can imagine a great story about a time when you went from fearful to confident and never looked back. Whatever it is, we’d love to hear it.

Whatever story you tell, remember to practice it out loud on as many people as possible and time yourself when you’re doing it. Please don’t get onstage if you haven’t practiced your story. The audience is giving you their time and attention. It’s not fair to them if you get up there and try to wing it.

All stories have to be under 8 minutes. Stories can be as short as you want but not over 8 minutes. Stories also have to be clean in both language and content. Send me an email if you have any questions about that.

The rest of the rules and guidelines are below:

Storytelling Rules and Guidelines

We have a free monthly online workshop that’s a great place to get feedback on your story. 

https://www.meetup.com/Fresh-Ground-Stories-Storytelling-Workshop/

I’m also happy to help anyone with a story they’re working on. Send me an email and we can set up a phone call.

Last week, I gave a small notebook and pencil to someone at the show who was struggling to come up with a story for next month. I’m going to keep doing that. From now on, I’m going to give a small notebook and a pencil that says, “Write more, scroll less” to the first person in the audience who raises their hand. No need to ditch your smartphone. It’s just something to help you keep track of all the great ideas you have during the day when you don’t want to open your notes app to write them down.

See you on Thursday, February 20, at 7 pm, at the Chabad of Queen Anne – Magnolia. 1825 Queen Anne Ave N, Seattle, WA 98109 (Remember, no non-kosher food in the building)

Paul
Freshgroundstories at gmail dot com

* https://www.sleke.io/faq I stole the line about the swallow from this site, where I just ordered a new phone that lets me access email and a few other communication apps.

** https://sunbeamwireless.com/ This is the phone I’m currently using

**** This no-smartphone thing is definitely a struggle. I don’t want anyone to think I’m telling everyone to do this. I’m doing it out of desperation and with the full knowledge that certain things, like parking in Seattle without an app, are a nightmare. I have to bring the iPhone with me every time I drive into the city. I also have to bring it with me on show nights because I need to see messages people send me through Meetup. 

**** Since it is a pain in the tuches to not be able to access links, I’m getting a different phone in March that will automatically forward texts with links in them to my email. So send all the IG puppy videos you want. I’ll just see them when I get home 🙂 

***** https://jel.jewish-languages.org/words/587 In case anyone didn’t grow up with their mom dropping the occasional Yiddish word into a conversation

What an amazing night that was! We had a packed house and so many tellers we went two hours instead of our usual 90 minutes because I couldn’t bear to bump anyone to next month. It turns out that when the theme is secrets, we have a lot to get off our chests. 

Dru started us off with a great story about the secret to a 50-year marriage. Who knew it would be trust? I should have guessed it ahead of time because I learned a long time ago that no story is worth sacrificing a relationship. If you’re tempted to make a pros-and-cons list to decide if you should tell a story about someone you care about, the answer is always no.

Jeff was next with a story about some of the pranks he and his friends pulled when they were kids and then the worst prank ever. Seriously. The worst ever. Clever, yes. But, oof, they really paid for it. Jeff made me grateful for all the great ideas I’ve had that I never acted on. This was one of those times when he and his friends actually should have written out a pros-and-cons list of what could happen if they went through with it. 

Mary was next with what turned out to be the most wholesome story I have ever heard. Not only is it my new favorite Mary story, but it made me want to go iron some shirts. If you’d been at the show you’d know what I’m talking about. All I’m going to say is that if there’s a small chance I could cut back on my Zoloft by ironing clothes, I’m going to try it. I’m not telling my doctor because he’ll probably think I’ve been sniffing starch. I’ll let you guys know if it works out. 

Paul B told a beautiful story that I’m hoping will be on the radio soon. It’s the only dog story I’ve ever heard that focused on how owning a dog can be a very human experience, maybe one of the most human experiences. Paul always dives deep into his stories and that inspires me to work harder on my own. Thank you brother for raising the bar yet again.

Emily was up next in a nice coincidence since the last time I saw her and Paul was when we did a show together in Tacoma a few months ago. No one should have to go that long between Emily stories so I’m thrilled she showed up that night. Thursday, she had me doubled over laughing as she explained having to teach pre-calculus to students who are better at it than she is. We also learned the power of a single decimal point and the importance of compound interest. Who needs Goldman Sachs when we have Emily to give us investment advice?

David was up next with a story that began with why he couldn’t make it to our last show. He reminded us that we’re only as sick as our secrets and how good it is that some of us have a place like FGS to share those secrets. Of course, you don’t have to start a storytelling show for that. You can become the kind of person people feel safe sharing their secrets with. I think that’s more important than any show you could start. 

Chris told a story about keeping a secret she discovered about a friend who was secretly living somewhere he shouldn’t. She left me remembering the times when I had to break a rule to do the right thing. On the way home after the show, I thought about what it would take to remove the barriers to honesty. And what happens when the consequences of honesty are worse than the consequences of dishonesty? 

I was so happy to see Becky’s name in Mr. Coffee. She first found us years ago when we were at Roy Street Coffee but has only told a handful of stories. I was curious what made her come out on a cold night and walk up to our mic. As Becky moved further into her story, the room got quieter and quieter. We could feel where it was going. It was a story about a secret Becky was keeping from a friend about her friend’s husband. How do you share something like that? Becky went back and forth, wondering if it was worth it. Would it wreck the friendship? Would it bring them closer together? We learned in the end that it wasn’t a story about secrets. It was about friendship and when it’s time to stop making time for someone.

Bruce told a story that spanned the globe from New York City to Philidelphia to the Belgian Congo, and Rhodesia. It was full of hippies, college kids, armed revolutionaries, and the CIA. Only Bruce could bring us a story like this. The secret in his story? You never really know why someone breaks up with you. If a woman ever broke up with me over an international insurgency with a communist takeover and assassination attempt, you better believe I’d be telling that story.

Jamie, one of our newest tellers, was next with a story she first shared with me on a phone call during my lunch hour at work. I still don’t know if my coworkers heard me yell, “No way!” from the conference room I jumped into to take that call. It was a story that began when she was 12 and ended not long ago when she finally met the family she’d been wondering about all those years. No matter how well we think we know our parents, there will always be secrets they take to their graves. Jamie’s dad took a big one to his grave. But now it’s out and Jamie has her answer. And new people to share her life with. 

Gretchen was up after Jamie and told a beautiful story about tattoos that started on her left arm and ended on her right. Tattoos have come a long way since only sailors wore them. Gretchen grew up in the sailor days and had to make sure her first tattoo was in a place her parents would never see. Over the years, she added more. Along with those new tattoos were the memories that shaped them. Some tattoos have been covered up and turned into something else. Whenever I see a tattoo like that I wonder what came first. did the tattoo change and then the memory or the other way around? Does mind follow ink or ink follow mind? I love that I finally heard a story about that. Thank you, Gretchen, for such a wonderful surprise.

Cliff was our final teller and closed out the show perfectly. It was a story about keeping his big sister’s secret until their father found out on his own. Something changed in Cliff as he heard his dad yelling down the hallway at his sister. Because he wasn’t the one in the crosshairs, he heard his dad a little differently that day. That moment was the start of him thinking about his dad and the temper they all lived with in a new way. His feelings didn’t change all at once. They evolved slowly over time and distance. It reminded me of how we all need time and distance from our parents to get a better understanding of them. I often wonder what my son will realize about me twenty years from now. Will he find an old journal after I die and wish he’d known something sooner? There are a lot of things about my parents I wish could understand better. Maybe we should all start putting our secrets in journals so we can at least be understood post-mortem.

Thanks again to everyone who came out and supported our tellers. Next month’s show is February 20. The theme is “Changing Directions.” I’ll get the invite out through Meetup as soon as I can.

In the meantime, here are three great opportunities to hear more stories:

7 Stories in Burien has their next show this Friday. The theme is “Leap of Faith” but it’s ok to bring a story not on theme. I often go to 7 Stories when I’m working on a new story of my own. It’s a warm and friendly bunch of folks who show up.

https://www.meetup.com/7-stories/events/305339733/

Becky, who told with us last Thursday, is in a special showcase with The Moth this Saturday at the Olympic Sculpture Park. The theme is “Restoration – Stories of renewal and rejuvenation.”

https://themoth.org/events/restoration-showcase-seattle-2025

Bar Stories has their next show on February 10 at the Ravenna Brewing Company.

https://www.meetup.com/free-monthly-storytelling-meetup/events/305011612/

Nick Vega is one of the best hosts around so you’re going to have a great time whether you tell a story or just hang out and listen.

Our next free monthly online storytelling workshop is Sunday, February 2 at 1 pm. It’s a great place to get feedback on a story you’re working on (and it doesn’t have to be a story for FGS).

https://www.meetup.com/fresh-ground-stories-storytelling-workshop/events/305481810/

Some of you asked me about the storytelling workshop I mentioned during the show that Kent Whipple Teaches at Unexpected Productions. It’s the best workshop anywhere. I believe it only happens a few times a year so you’ll have to keep checking the website to find out when the next one is. Kent is a wonderful storyteller himself so you’re getting taught by someone who really knows what he’s doing. 

Unexpected Productions | At the Market Theater Gum Wall | Seattle, WA

Have a great rest of the month. 

I’m always happy to help with any stories you’re working on, so write me to set up a call if you’d like.

Paul

Freshgroundstories at gmail dot com

Hi Everyone,

Our next show is coming up fast! It’s this Thursday at 7 pm. The theme is “Don’t Tell – Stories about secrets.” I’ve worked with a couple people this month over the phone on their stories and I’m really excited to see them told live.

Here are the rules for telling if you haven’t seen them in a while:

Storytelling Rules and Guidelines

Here is one of my all-time favorite stories to get you in the mood. I don’t know where it was recorded but it’s from back in 2013. 

Let me know if you have any questions about the show Thursday or if you’d like some help with a story.

See you soon!

Paul

Freshgroundstories at gmail dot com